Your Scene Sucks And It’s YOUR Fault – Part VII: “Fests”

Your Scene Sucks & It’s Your Fault

I was gonna do a longer write up on why so-called “fests” are bad for the scene, outlining what’s wrong with them in all the gory details, but I think I’m gonna keep this short and sweet, and let the following graphic do most of the talking for me. I’m not going to insult your intelligence. You know what’s wrong with local “fests” and how they hurt the bands in the local scene. We all know about these monstrosities and the assholes that put them on. Fests are the “thing to do” these days, but they’re nothing more than aborted efforts to make a scene seem bigger and better than it really is, all too often while taking advantage of the local bands and offering nothing new to the local fans. We’ve all seen it: they don’t draw, they’re poorly organized, promoted, and run. Anyway…. here ya go:

MegaUltraAwesomeFest

Rob’s Rants – Your Scene Sucks & It’s YOUR Fault – Part VI: The Scene (Elitism)

Your Scene Sucks & It’s Your Fault

The Scene, the Scene.

Ah yes, “The Scene.”

Everyone talks about “the scene.” For some, it seems, “the scene” has become a sort of dirty phrase, being frowned upon with some sort of bullshit hipster elitism, as if suddenly it’s uncool to be part of a scene anymore. It’s almost like people need to be so “different” and “individual” that they need to stigmatize words and core concepts in order to do so. Vain attempts at trying to stand out, if you ask me. But since you did ask me (no, I know you didn’t, but here you are reading this, so I consider that your invitation of my opinion), elitist hipster attitudes have no place in metal, and are in fact counter to the very core of what metal is. But whatever. To each their own.

Rob’s Rants – Your Scene Sucks And It’s Your Fault – Episode V: Fans

Your Scene Sucks & It’s Your Fault

Episode V: Fans

I can see it now, the backlash:

What the fuck did you just say, Rob?

How DARE YOU blame the fans!! That’s fucked up!

Yeah, it is. And anyone who’s had one of these conversations with me about this stuff has also heard me say that you DON’T attack the fanbase. EVER. That said…

The thing about a scene is that it’s a mismatched collection of several moving parts, each of which having responsibility for both making the scene go, but also grow. And when a scene stagnates, suffers, dies, or struggles, each of those parts plays some role in that. And that’s ultimately what this series of articles has been about, and while I’m loathe to do it, to address these things responsibly, I have to address ALL of them. And yes, that means pointing fingers at the fans too.

There are basically two types of fans in a music scene: those who go to shows, and those who don’t. Those of you who go to shows–it’s less your fault that your scene sucks. Those who don’t…. well…. do I even need to say it?

Let’s break this down a little further though, starting with fans that go to shows. You go to local shows in your scene on a somewhat regular basis (let’s say, once a month or so, just to establish a baseline of ‘regular’)? AWESOME! You rock! We love you! Seriously. We love you, man. No, no, it’s cool. Really. We… okay. Enough with the hugging. Now it’s getting creepy.

Sorry. Back on topic. The fans that go to shows also probably help spread the word about shows. They talk to each other about who’s playing when and where, and who is worth going to see live. But they also know who isn’t worth seeing live, and just like venues and promoters, talk about the bands with the bad reps. In other words, the fans that come out to shows are both a band’s best source of PR and also your worst nightmare. These folks tend to run in packs, they all know each other, and they tend to go to the same shows, because they’ve established a sense of community among themselves. And when it comes to scene building, THEY are your foundation. Because without them, the bands are busy playing group rehearsals to each other. Sadly though, these fans are often outnumbered by the other kind of show-going fans (the dudes in the bands playing that night). But at least they’re there, and we love them (YOU) for that.

And then there are the fans who don’t go to shows. The fans who complain about a lack of a scene, how no one supports it, how no one goes to shows, and they talk about “the good old days” of the scene, reminiscing about how much better it was ten or twenty years ago, not that they went to shows then, either; or, they talk about how much better the scene in some other city/market is, and they wish they could move (back) there, where there are “real” musicians and bands, and everyone supports everyone and there’s no drama and blah blah blah blah fucking blah. They say things like that because they don’t actually know what the scene is like. BECAUSE THEY DON’T GO TO SHOWS. They sit around on their asses on Friday and Saturday nights, living minutes from any number of venues that have any number of bands of all types playing, complaining about how there’s nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one to hang with, and no good music to listen to. Their Xbox or YouTube or Pornhub and a 2-liter of Mountain Dew and a bag of Doritos and a box of Kleenex keeps them company for the weekend, while they perfect their Internet Warrior skills and leveling up in Troll. These are the ‘fans’ who complain about everything that’s wrong with a scene, but do NOTHING to be part of the solution. And to them I say:

Shut the fuck up, get out of your mom’s basement, go to a show, and use your right arm for something other than jerking yourself off–like throwing horns.

Be part of the solution instead of the problem: SUPPORT YOUR SCENE.

But Rob! I don’t like any of the bands that are playing tonight! Not my style of music! They suck!

Okay. That’s fair. No one expects you to go a local show and pay money to see a bunch of bands you don’t like just to “support local music.” I get it. I don’t want to do that either. And trust me, I spend enough time with the radio gig dealing with music I don’t want to listen to that I really don’t want to spend a Friday or Saturday night listening to bands that either suck or I just don’t like. But the thing is… most bills have at least one band that I do like, whether it’s because the guys in the band are my friends, or actually really do like their music. But most bills also usually have at least one or two bands I’ve not seen live or heard before (here’s where I’m going to point out that -especially- at the local level, it’s not really fair to judge a band on the quality of their recording–chances are, they are vastly different live, and probably better, especially if they have a low quality demo they’re pushing). And to me, that’s worth $5 and a couple beers. Worst case scenario, you go check out a band that you’ve never seen live or never heard of at all, and they suck. So you’re out a few bucks but you got out of the house and actually built some street cred from which to go back to your Internet trolling with. Best case scenario? You discover something new and cool, make a couple new friends, and have something new to listen to.

I’m gonna bring up a point that’s recurred throughout this article series–promotion. I hear time and again from fans that they don’t know shows are happening. On some level, I’m willing to go out on a limb and give them that, because let’s face it: most bands, venues, and “promoters” suck at this part of the game. But at the same time, it’s really NOT THAT HARD to get on Facebook and find out what’s happening in your local area on any given weekend. I mean, seriously–if you can quote every dank meme coming off Reddit, or know what obscure YouTube video is trending on any given day of the week, you really have no excuse for not knowing what shows are happening in your area. People involved in shows have the responsibility of putting the info out there, but people who claim to be fans have the responsibility of knowing where to look for it. It’s a two-way street.

I wanna get back to another point: “The Good Old Days.” Let me tell you what the real good old days were. Social media was tape-trading and CD-swapping and interacting in person in physical space. Going to shows just because there was a show happening. Just to see who was playing. Just to see who would be there. The only reason those things aren’t around anymore is because you’re too lazy to actually get out of your chair, pull your pants up from around your ankles, and make it happen.

I read an article recently about how fans who do go shows spend the majority of their time staring at their smartphones, largely because they’re busy recording video of the show instead of actually experiencing it. The YouTube generation hasn’t been taught how to embrace the live musical experience, but that falls somewhat on the shoulders of folks like me who are a little older and remember going to concerts before we had smartphones. I’m just as guilty of being busy taking pics and video with my phone (part of my job with the station and venue), but I also know that sometimes I just need to look at the bands with my own two eyes instead of through a couple inches of LED screen. The thing about those fans who do this?

At least they’re at the show.

All this business about “SUPPORT LOCAL MUSIC” is well and good, but the fact is that most of the people repeating that mantra do it comfortably from the safety of their keyboards. They’re afraid to take chances. They’re afraid to go out and DO something, to be SEEN, and to otherwise interact with real people in a real environment–that environment we call “The Scene.” Keyboard activism has its place, I suppose (I mean, c’mon… what the fuck do you think I’m doing right now, with this article and blog? Yes, I get and appreciate the irony of it….except…oh, wait for it, I GO TO SHOWS! 😉  ), but it’s also the crutch of the lazy and fearful. Oh, yeah, I just said that. Let me restate it, for a little clarity:

“Fans” who don’t go to shows, but relentlessly pound away on their keyboards bitching about how much their local scene sucks are LAZY COWARDS.

If I have to explain that, then you should probably go back and reread the paragraphs preceding it. Actually, if you need that statement explained to you…

…your scene sucks, and it’s YOUR fault.

Rob’s Rants – Your Scene Sucks And It’s Your Fault – Episode IV: Pay-To-Play

Your Scene Sucks & It’s Your Fault

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these (because I’m a slacker, which means that my scene sucks and it’s my fault), and if you go back to September, you’ll recall that the last one was about “promoters.” Truth be told, that one caused a bit of a stir, and I had some people pretty pissed at me over some of the things I said, which I took as a sign of success. The reality is that if I’m pissing you off with the things I say in these little write ups, then there’s a good chance you’re probably part of the problem, which is only reinforcing the notion that “your scene sucks and it’s your fault.”

Rob’s Rants: Your Scene Sucks And It’s Your Fault: Episode III: “Promoters”

Your Scene Sucks & It’s Your Fault

There’s a phenomena in the music industry of this thing called the “promoter.” Supposedly, these are people and organizations whose function in the industry is to promote concerts by working to advertise and bring mass media awareness of those concerts to the markets relevant to that concert. Promoters often double as booking agents, and especially in the local and regional scenes, it’s the “promoters” who also book the concerts they are supposed to be promoting. In other words, someone wants to throw a show, often under the guise of an organization–“Metal Union” for (a fictional) example–that touts itself as a promoter or promotions company. MU arranges venue, sound, lights, staff, and books the bands for the concert, is supposedly responsible for actually promoting the show. This is the part where MU forgets, or completely misunderstands the “promote” part.